If I Never Leave: It Hurts To See You and Him Spinoff
by hungrywhovianpotterhead
Summary: In an alternate reality, everything is different. Emma got to raise Henry, Neal never died, and Hook never changed. This is the story of when Hook changed the past, and Neal never left. (Might be a touch confusing if you haven't read It Hurts To See You and Him, but it's not necessary) Rated T just to be safe
1. Prologue

**A/N Hey everybody, so as promised, here is the first chapter of the spinoff. Next week I'll be posting the first chapter of I'll Fight It for You.**

 **Also posted on my tumblr hungrywhovianpotterheadfrom221b under the tag Whovian Writes and IHTSYH: IINL**

 **disclaimer: I don't own OUAT**

He paced before the phonebooth, torn apart by indecision. Neal knew, that he shouldn't make this choice. Shouldn't be the one to decide how Emma's life would go. Who was August? Why did he believe he had the right to make that choice for Emma? Then he thought of Emma. She deserved to find her parents. She would if he left. He knew that. Someday she would go to where they were.

Unbidden came the thoughts of his father next. A familiar wave of fear tore through him at the thought of his father. It was unlikely the man had changed since he left. He hadn't been Baelfire in so long, he had almost forgotten what it was like to be that stubborn, and scared little boy. Could he really face the man that brought about these fears?

The image of his father drives him then. He pulled the change from his pocket and held it poised at the slot, another wave of fear, this time for Emma. If he does this, he places her in danger. Sends her right to his father in ten years. Then again, if he doesn't she'll always be an orphan… there was no way, that he could be the family she deserved. Especially as he sat poised to throw her entire life away on the words of a stranger. He feels tears of frustration spring to his eyes, as he runs a hand through his hair, and starts to drop the coins in.

"Stop." Comes a sudden, and shockingly familiar voice from behind him. He goes tense. It's not possible. How could he be here? Neal wonders, as he slowly turns to face the man who would intrude on this moment. He almost released a groan when he recognized the man before him. He wished he could believe that there was no way that it could be Hook, but there remained the fact that the last he had seen the pirate had been in Neverland. So everything made sense as he looked at the pirate, including that split moment almost a month before.

 _He had been sure he had recognized the silhouette, as Emma tugged on his sleeve. "Hey, watch this." She whispered, as she slipped out of the booth, and started smooth-talking a guy at the bar. He fought back a surge of jealousy as she kissed the guy, and was up out of the booth before he knew what was happening._

 _As soon as the encounter had started, it was over. The man clapped him on the shoulder on his way out, and spoke in an impossibly familiar voice. "Nice catch you got yourself, needs work in the theft department."_

Of course, it would have been someone from there. It was like the Enchanted Forest was haunting him. "What?" He asked, voice a little breathless, but he quickly schooled his features. How could Hook know who he was? He wasn't that little boy anymore.

Hook steps more firmly into the light, chasing away any lingering doubt about the identity of the man in the shadows. "Don't make that call." He said, and Neal saw something in his expression, that gave him pause. Some unnamed emotion that was warring with the flickering anger on his face. "It'll be the biggest mistake of your life."

"How do you know? Do I know you?" He asked, trying to play stupid. How could Hook know anything? He obviously couldn't know he was the boy he had sold to Pan all those years ago, and he wasn't about to tell him.

Hook continues closer, till he right in front of him. "Cut the crap Baelfire, We both know that you do."

Neal felt like he was doused with ice water. If Hook knew, god, what if his father could find him? He pushed his fear behind something he could handle better, anger. "Why shouldn't I make that call? Don't you want the curse broken? Like your buddy August?"

Hook shook his head, and Neal couldn't explain the expression on the Pirate's face when he spoke next. "I could care less, though something tells me fate will still bring her to Storybrooke when the time is right." His blue eyes snap to meet Neal's, "Question is will you let history repeat itself?"

Neal steps out of the booth, and starts towards Hook, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's simple, I'm from the future." He starts, and Neal lets out a laugh at the absurdity of it all.

First the man that his father said killed his mother appears, now he claims he's from the future? God, reality does not get this strange. Not even when he was back with his father. Even when he was stuck in Neverland, it wasn't this weird. "What is this? Back to the future?" He throws up his hands with a laugh, shaking his head. "Okay Marty McFly, next are you going to tell me I have to go punch you and become her hero?"

"I don't quite understand what that means, but we'll get back to that." Hook states, "Just don't make that call, go to that parking structure, find Tallahassee, just don't make that call, I've seen what it does to her heart."

Neal turns away, "I'm giving her, her best chance." He says, "I'm letting her fulfill her destiny."

Hook lets out a barking laugh, "was that you? Or was that the cocky puppet talking?"

Neal ignores him. Turning back to the payphone, he is brought up short, when Hook speaks again, knocking the wind out of him, and breaks his heart in one strike. "I love her." Hook whispered brokenly, and Neal started to turn as the Pirate continued, "In the future, I love her. It took so long to get her heart to open up, she was broken when I met her. That call destroys Emma Swan the way she is."

He can't let himself be won over that easily. August's words replaying in his mind. "Maybe that's what makes the savior." Neal reasons, it sounds like a weak argument even to his ears. He turns back to the payphone, and jumps as a hook appears in front of him effectively locking the booth shut.

"No, that's what breaks her heart, you are her first true love. When you broke her heart, it never healed, even now, she fears the future, is afraid to open her heart to love again." Hook snarls in his ear, and Neal feels tears threaten.

He imagines Emma alone and scared, and angry. Locked in a prison cell for something he did. Never being able to trust anyone again, and it breaks his heart all over again. He closes his eyes, no. He owed it to Emma. He owed her the chance to find her family. He owed her the chance to fulfill her destiny.

He looks to Hook, and sees the same conflict on the other man's face, until a look of dawning realization lights the Pirate's eyes. "This isn't about Emma, is it? It's your fear, your fear of your father. You're afraid if you don't leave her, let her go, you'll have to face Rumplestiltskin."

He sighs, he knows that Hook wouldn't agree with it, but he had run from his past for so long, that it was practically impossible to think of facing it again. So he found himself nodding. "Yeah, that's part of it…" He admits.

Hook pulls back a little, and Neal thinks he might be letting him go, until Hook shouts. "Well stuff it!" His face is red with anger, "I can't let you break her heart" His voice was softer then, cracking a little, "You can't let August get to you, save her heart." He pleaded, and Neal can see it then, a man that would do anything for the woman he loves, including give her up to protect her heart. He felt a pang, as he realized, that he was giving her up, because he was afraid of his damn father.

"I don't get it." Neal says, "The way you talk in the future, you and Emma are…"

"Aye, we are." Hook says softly, seeming to get lost in his thoughts.

"Then why? Why keep her with me?" He asked, he was curious, why would he let her go, if she meant so much to him?

Hook looks away, before he answers. "I can't watch her break, not again. Not like the last times." Neal eyes the man. 'last times?' he silently asked, as Hook pulled back from the door, and he could step inside again. He knows it's selfish, as he turns away from Hook, Emma's tear stained face flashing behind his eyes again, as she cries alone in a prison cell, but he pushes it away, one last time, as he opened the booth, and stepped inside.

Hook gives him an angry, and defeated look. Neal raises the coins again, and once more is brought up short, by Hook's voice. "Like father, like son." He growls.

He pauses a surge of anger rising inside of him. "I'm nothing like my father." He says, as he drops the coins into the slot.

"If you go through with that call you make the same mistake. The same mistake the Crocodile did, and the same one his father made." Hook promises, "You go through with that, you abandon your son."

The implication of what Hook said hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, it took him a second to be able to formulate the thoughts that told him what it meant. Was it possible? Could Emma be pregnant? Hook. If Hook was really from the future, he knew, didn't he? "Hook, wait." He called, turning, feeling a sick feeling rise up inside of him, and he knew if she was, he couldn't do it. Leaving her was hard enough. Screw August, he wouldn't abandon Emma through this, if it was true.

"What?" Hook pauses, and looks back at him.

Neal took a deep breath before he continued. "Is Emma pregnant?" He asked, his voice hitching, and he knows when he says it, even if she's not, he can't leave her. He's not his father. It's time he grew up, and faced it.

"Aye, and if you make that call, she gives that baby up." Hook tells him, "He's a brilliant boy, by the way."

"How do you know?" His voice comes out in a harsh whisper. He needs to know, needs to know how Hook knows his son.

His fears are confirmed when Hook turns back to face him. "I've met him. In fact, I've grown rather close to the lad." He gets a fond smile on his face, that almost looks sad. "I've almost come to see him like a son of my own." Informs him, and Neal felt a lump in his throat. He can't let her give their son up, can't let him grow up like they both did, and suddenly it all hits him. Emma's pregnant. He's going to be a father. He looked up at Hook, "I'm going to be a father?" He asked, just needing the reassurance.

Hook looked conflicted. "Not if you make that call."

He let out a breath, and met Hook's eyes, brown and blue, meeting with the same emotions at war in each "Then I won't." He promised, and he saw Hook's shoulders slump, in a mix of relief and heartbreak.

"Go get your Swan, Mate." He tells Neal, as he turns and walks away.

"You can count on it." Neal said into the night, as Hook walked away. Without another moment, Neal rushed off, knowing that the fence would soon be gone, and he needed that money to keep Emma and their son safe and happy.

~~If I Never Leave~~

Neal woke up, as Emma pulled the car to the side of the road, and practically leapt out of the door, vomiting into the bushes. He was suddenly wide awake, and out of the car in a flash. He rushed to her side, and swept her hair back over her shoulders. He rubbed her back soothingly.

"Are you okay, Em?" he asked with concern.

She groaned. "Yeah, I think it's just something we ate last night." She told him, swiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. "Maybe you can drive for a while?" She asked, shooting him a hopeful smile.

He nodded. "Yeah, babe. I can drive, you just get some rest." He told her, as he helped her back to the car. It had been several weeks since that night back in Portland, when he nearly made the biggest mistake of his life. It was no secret to him, why for the last week, Emma had been getting sick, but he knew she wasn't sure yet, so when he pulled up to a gas station, and told her it was a snack run. He wasn't surprised when she made a beeline for the small pharmaceutical section. He also wasn't surprised when he saw her discretely tuck a pregnancy test into her jacket as he payed for gas.

"Ready?" She asked, as she brought up some bags of chips, jerky and some sports drinks.

"yeah, are you? Feeling better?" He asked.

She looked a little nervous. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better."

He gave her a long look, but nodded. "Hey, I was thinking we should get a room tonight?" He offered. "We got the money, and it's been too long, since we actually got to sleep in a bed."

Emma looked so grateful, as she nodded. "That sounds great." She told him, before she hugged him.

He held her close. He couldn't believe he had almost given this up. He breathed in her unique scent, they payed, and got directions to the nearest motel. It was time to take a day off from driving.

The day passed rather uneventfully until they ate lunch, and no more had the food arrived in the room, then Emma was up and running to the bathroom, and emptying all of the snacks she had eaten while they were on the road into the toilet.

He rushed after her, as she sagged on the floor in the bathroom. Tears were running down her cheeks. In that moment it struck him, how young she was. She had admitted to him a few weeks before, as they sat in a coffee shop, that it was her birthday. That was when he realized he didn't know how old she was.

 _Emma smiled shyly, as she stirred her cocoa. "Do you want to know how old I am today? Or how old I was yesterday?" She asked._

 _Neal chuckled. "I would like to know how old you are." He told her. "I can't believe we went this long without me asking."_

 _Emma blushed, and looked up. "Eighteen?" she offered._

 _He paled. She was a minor. She wasn't an adult when they met. "You mean, today you're nineteen? Or is this your eighteenth birthday?"_

 _"The second?" She said in a small voice._

 _"You mean you are literal jailbait. Damn, I'm glad we never got caught." Neal chuckled._

 _She grinned. "But now, I am a totally legal adult." She told him, raising her mug in a toast._

"Em." He said softly, crouching in front of her. She started sobbing. "Em, Em, what's wrong? Come here." He said, pulling her to him.

She shook her head, and sobbed harder.

"Shhhhh." He whispered, smoothing her hair. "I'm here Em. I'm here. What's wrong?"

She let out a shaky breath. "I'm late." She whispered.

He already knew what she meant, but he pulled back. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She sat up, rubbing her face with her hands. "I'm late. My period should have been a week ago, and I've been getting sick…" she looked vulnerable. "I stole a test from the gas station earlier."

He widened his eyes for effect, even though he already knew. "What are you talking about, Em. You don't think…"

She broke down again. "I don't know. I can't be a mom." The last part was a broken whisper.

His heart broke for her. "Hey, hey now. We don't know for sure. Even if you are, you won't be alone. I promise. If you are, we'll raise it together."

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "You mean that?" she asked.

He smiled gently. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." He promised. "I'll be here for both of you." He put a hand on her shoulder while the other brushed her hair back from her face. "And, if you are pregnant? Well, I'll make it official. That is if you'll have me?"

She sniffled, and chuckled a little. "did you just propose to me on the bathroom floor of a motel room?"

Neal laughed, and nodded, "I guess I did, and here." He got up and ran to the table and grabbed an onion ring and returned to her, and dramatically got down on one knee. "Emma Swan, will you marry me?" he asked, offering the onion ring to her.

Emma laughed, and nodded and leaned down to kiss him. "Yes, but promise we'll get an actual ring? I really would hate if my engagement ring spoiled."

His heart soared, as he shot up, holding her to him with a laugh. "Yes Emma, I'll get you something better than an onion ring offered in a dirty motel bathroom." He promised her.

Emma laughed again, and leaned in for a kiss, but pulled back. "Oh, sorry… puke breath."

Neal grinned, and kissed her anyway. "I don't mind a little puke breath."

~~If I Never Leave~~

Emma took the test that same night, and after a few tense minutes of sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked down at the test in her hands, and confirmed what Neal already knew. "Neal. We're having a baby."

 **Please review**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey guys, so here is chapter 1, I hope you guys like it. I plan on formatting this story as one year=one chapter until we reach Henry's tenth birthday. Here is year 1 the pregnancy**

 **disclaimer: I own nothing, certainly not the show if not I would have fought harder to keep JMO**

 **Chapter 1**

Neal Cassidy wasn't prepared. He thought he was, but nothing prepared him for the mood swings, the cravings. The aches and pains, and the general difficulty of having a pregnant girlfriend. Wait, no fiancé. As soon as they found out, going to Canada didn't feel right. He wanted to raise his son in the place that they chose together.

Neal turned them around and pushed the little bug to its limit after getting it a clean vin, and they made it to Tallahassee, Neal bought a small house with the watch money, and got a job at a local store. The first thing he did when he got their house, was buy a ring.

It wasn't fancy, but he knew Emma wouldn't care, and anything beat an onion ring in a bathroom at a roadside motel outside of Tacoma. Then he took her out on the town, and did it right. He and Emma were on the beach after a movie, and dinner, when he pulled her to a stop, and dropped on one knee. He pulled out the small box, and asked her to marry her on the Tallahassee beaches, and she told him yes, her lips warm and soft against his, this time without puke breath and onion rings.

They got married in a courthouse, Neal in a dress shirt and jeans, and Emma in a white sundress practically glowing with joy, and pregnancy their little boy becoming more pronounced every day.

It was days like today he knew he would always cherish, as Emma waddled into the living room, softly humming to her their son, and rubbing soothing circles over her stomach. He wished he could paint, so he could capture that moment forever, the way her eyes were closed, and the way her face lit up as she caught his eye across the room. "Henry's been active today. I think he's as anxious to come meet us, as we are to meet him." She said as she moved over to him.

She was almost seven months along now, and they had finally agreed on a name. She had been thinking Benjamin, or James, and he offered John and Michael, but Emma refused to have her son named after "the little boys from Peter Pan" It went like that often, but Neal found it he didn't even know how, but one day, he and Emma were watching a movie, when he heard it. Henry. Henry James Swan-Cassidy, they chose James because Emma said it was "A strong name, and it made him sound like a prince, even though neither of them were." He smiled when he thought about it, Henry really was a prince, not that Emma knew that.

Neal moved to her side, resting his hands on her swollen stomach and leaning down so his face was inches away from his son. "We're excited to meet you to, kid." He looked up at Emma, and smiled at the fondness on her face, as she gazed back at him softly. "But, let's take it easy on your mom a bit yeah? We'll still be here in a couple of weeks, and we can't wait, but you have to, alright kiddo?" He was answered by a hard kick to his hand, and he smiled. "Glad we agree Henry. Glad we agree."

 _~~zero hour~~_

Neal was woken by a sudden gasp beside him, and a bone crushing grip around his arm. He shot upright, as Emma groaned. "Emma?" He asked groggily, "Babe, what's wrong?" He barely opened his eyes, when it suddenly felt like he had been jolted awaked by a car battery.

"He's coming." She gasped. "I think he's coming!" She gasped again, clutching at her stomach. Neal was out of bed in an instance, scrabbling for the light switch, and rushing to the closet. He frantically dug through, he knew the bag was in there, he watched Emma put it in here. After a minute of searching, where most of their closet wound up relocated to the bedroom floor, he found it, and was back at Emma's side. She was breathing heavily, she hissed as Neal helped her out of the bed, and into the sweater that was beside the bed.

"Just breathe, Emma. Breathe, and before you know it, Henry will be here." He told her, with a small smile, that she returned before a contraction struck, and she was crushing his hand.

 _~~hour 1~~_

The drive to the hospital, was one of the longest, and most nerve-racking drives Neal had ever taken. Emma was trying to urge him to go faster, despite the fact he was already going ten over, and well beyond the point of getting pulled over. So, when the lights never flashed, before he swung into the hospital parking lot, he released a sigh of relief before he pressed a kiss to Emma's head, and launched out of the car and into the emergency room, to get help.

The nurse looked up when he came running in. "I need help!" He called to her, making her bustle around the desk, "My wife, she's in the car, and she's in labor." When he said the words, it really came crashing down on him. This was happening, he was going to be a dad. In a matter of a few hours, he would be a father, and Emma would be the best mother. He knew it already, as he helped the nurse get Emma into the wheelchair, and rolled her into the emergency room.

Not long after, they were in one of the rooms with the curtain door, Emma perched on the high bed. The nurse that helped Neal get her inside, was preforming a check on Emma's vitals. Jotting down notes. She took her temp, "Okay, Emma. About how far apart are your contractions? So we can get a good estimate of when your little one is going to come meet you." The nurse asked soothingly.

Neal rubbed her shoulders gently, as Emma answered, her hand resting over Neal's. "I woke up about five, with the first one, and they're I don't know twenty minutes apart?"

The nurse nodded, jotting something down on her clipboard. "okay, the doctor will be in, in a moment, she'll check and see how much you're dilated, but chances are, you're in early labor, which means you have a long way to go. Which if you are only in early labor, you'll have a choice. You'll be able to go home, and come back, or we can get you set up in a birthing suite here." Emma nodded, and the nurse left, after a parting pat to her leg, and a smile.

The curtain pulled back a couple moments later, revealing a doctor that held a striking resemblance to Emma, just with dark hair on the other side.

"Okay, Mrs. Cassidy."

"Swan-Cassidy." Emma corrected. "Mrs. Swan-Cassidy"

The doctor nodded. "My name is doctor Cameron, and I'll be preforming your preliminary exam, then I'll send that to your doctor. I see it listed here, as doctor Rider?"

Emma nodded. "Yes, doctor Rider." She confirmed.

Dr. Cameron nodded, and looked up with a smile. "Alright, let's take a look, and see when little one is going to come say hello."

 _~~hour 4~~_

Neal and Emma decided to stay, because Emma didn't want to wait too long and end up 'having a house baby' because they didn't know what they were doing. So they were set up in a birthing suite, and Neal found himself pacing restlessly, as Emma slept. The first three hours, had been spent with Doctor Rider coming in to take a look at Emma's progress, and him reading Emma's old beat up copy of Peter Pan. A book which he had come to cherish, despite his knowledge of what Neverland really was, because of the way Emma's face lit, up whenever she read it to their son.

He hated Pan, but even he had to admit that the story in this land was not Peter Pan as he truly was. This Pan was mischievous and playful, not evil and spiteful. He was halfway through the final duel with Captain Hook, when he looked up, and noticed that Emma had drifted to sleep. He released a sigh of relief, glad that she was finally sleeping, he knew he should try and do some sleeping before things got serious in a couple hours, but he was wired.

He looked back at Emma, sleeping peacefully, and it hit him again, how he almost gave this up. He almost walked away from her, leaving her to go to prison, he almost destroyed her life. He almost put Emma in the position to give up the baby they were eagerly awaiting. He owed it to Hook. If it weren't for Hook telling him she was pregnant, if he hadn't fallen in love with an older, more broken Emma, he would have thrown this away.

As he paced, he replayed his life in his mind, all the mistakes he had made. When he was a little boy, he had been so happy. His father had been his best friend, his mother his stone wall, that would shield him from the dark nights. Then his mother left, and tore down the wall, leaving his father feebly covering them with scratchy wool, and raising him to be afraid. Then the Ogre's War draft came for him, and that was when he saw his life crumble. He suddenly was a prince in their village. His father a vengeful king. He was no longer the loving father that had sold everything he owned for his son. Neal looked to his wife again, when she made a small sound in her sleep. His father had turned to darkness to protect his family. Neal made a vow as he looked at his world, asleep in that small hospital bed, he would protect them, but he would never do something that he wouldn't want his son to emulate to do so. He wouldn't let darkness rip apart this family, like it did with his first.

His mind replayed the night that he left his father. He was so hopeful, he thought that he would finally get the chance to live a life free of dark magic, by taking his father to the land without magic. His father let him go, he abandoned him. Neal admitted to himself, that he would likely never forgive his father doing that to him. He knew that staying here with Emma, he knew it was the road back to his father. He also knew, he would never leave Emma to face him alone. Not with Henry. He wouldn't do that, so when that time came, he would walk into the town that the curse made, and he would suck it up. He would go back to his father. He vowed to stay by her, and he would protect her, and their son. Even if that meant going to the one place he never wanted to go. Even if it meant that he would have to face his father. Neal would never leave his family.

He paused in his pacing, and moved back to Emma's side, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn't know why Hook would give him this chance, but if he ever saw the man that saved his future, he wasn't sure he could ever repay the gift he was given, even as Emma woke with a groan, and something told him, that Henry wasn't that far away.

 _~~hour 7~~_

Sweat beaded on Emma's forehead, her contractions began coming closer and closer together. Doctor Rider was a constant in the room now, as the room began to transform, and it seemed to get smaller, as more and more people came in, bringing things for the doctor, and offering Emma drugs. All of which she denied immediately. She had told Neal right away, that she didn't want anything. She wanted this to be natural.

Neal had taken up a new position by her head, hand clamped in hers. It was another check, and this time doctor Rider looked up. "Emma." He began, as Emma clenched Neal's hand again, he grunted, but otherwise showed no reaction, aside from whispering encouragements, "Emma," Dr. Rider started again. "We're almost ready, your water should be breaking any time now, or we'll have to break it ourselves, then it'll just be a matter of time, before your little guy is here." He assured. "Something that will help, is if you wanted to take a short walk around the ward, it might help get things get rolling."

Emma nodded, as they brought her legs down from the stirrups. "I think I'll try that, I'm already getting tired of this bed." She joked.

Neal smiled and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, and nodded, whatever she wanted.

 _~~hour 9~~_

Another lap around the hospital, it seemed like Henry was really not willing to come out and say hello, but there was hope, back around the end of the last lap, her water broke, and that was when the pressure really started, mostly because he was sure he would need a splint or perhaps a full cast if she squeezed much harder, doctor Rider was back at his place by her feet, legs up in stirrups once more, and then he said the magic words.

"Emma, when I say push, I'm going to need you to push." His voice was soothing, and Neal felt a wave of anxious, happiness, with twinges of terror, cut through with pain, as Emma crushed his hand again. "Okay, Emma. Push!" he ordered, and Emma tensed, body contracting, a solid cry slipping past her lips, Neal swore he saw the lights flicker, but that could just be because of the points of pain flashing behind his eyes, as he swore he felt something crack in his hand.

"Okay, that was so good Emma, so good, just a little bit more, and he'll be here, ready, and I need you to push again Emma. Push!" He ordered, Emma pushed again, a strangled scream leaving her lips, and Neal felt his heart go out to her, as he began to lose feeling in his fingers, whispering praise in her ear.

"Shut up!" She all but shrieked at him. "You did this to me!" He tried not to let the words hurt, he was warned by the doctor, that she might say things she didn't mean because of the pain.

"I know, Emma, I know. I'm sorry babe, but it'll be over soon, he'll be here soon." He whispered.

"Emma, push!" The doctor ordered again, and this time Neal was sure he felt a bone crack, and the only thing that broke through the haze, was Dr. Rider's exclamation. "I see the head, just one more Emma. Ready, and, push!"

Emma's resounding scream was the longest most agonized scream he had ever heard her release, and when it was done she sagged back against the mattress.

"Okay Emma, one more push, and his shoulders will be through. Just one more, and you get to hold your son."

"I can't do it! I can't!" She sobbed. "I can't do it!"

"Yes you can, he want's to meet you Emma, just one more push!"

Emma shook her head, but finally she tensed again, grip harder on Neal's hand, as she screamed one more time, and this time, it was joined by another scream, one that Neal wouldn't soon forget, because it was the high, clear, first cry of his son.

Emma sobbed when she heard it, and he saw pure joy, mix with the exhaustion on her face, as the doctor laid Henry in her arms. "Hi, Henry." She whispered, holding him close to her chest, her grin growing, when his cry silenced as soon as he was in her arms. "Hi" she whispered, before tearing her eyes away to look at her husband, "We made this."

Neal felt tears on his face, as he bent to kiss her. "You did all the work." He turned to look at his son, and he swore, he had never seen anything so beautiful. "Henry Swan-Cassidy, he's going to take this world by storm" He told the little boy, earning a sleepy laugh from his wife.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N Alrighty guys, here is this week's update. So I decided to throw something in for the next few chapters of the story, because you don't really think Neal would go without telling Henry where he came from totally? So anyway, here you go. The next chapter of IINL enjoy**

 **disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time. (You all know what I would do with it if I did)**

If Neal thought the drive to the hospital was agonizing, the drive home was one-hundred times worse. Every car on the road seemed to be driving more recklessly than they should, each one completely unaware of the precious cargo in their midst. While he drove, Emma sat in the back, her hand gripping onto Henry's at each stop, eyes wide at each noise, tensing as each car blazed by with too loud stereos or angry horns.

He never thought he would be this cautious as he drove, but he was conscious of each lurch of the bug, every bump on the road, and each one had him scared that Henry would be hurt. The relief they felt, as the bug turned into their driveway, and he cut the engine was audible.

The funniest thing was, when he opened the door to the backseat, he found Henry fast asleep, as though they hadn't just driven through literal hell, to get here.

He helped Emma unhook the seat, and together they carried the car seat into the house. They barely had it set on the table in the hall, when Emma was unclasping him, and scooping him into her arms, cooing at the little one.

Neal looked at the sight, Emma, a golden curtain of hair hanging over her shoulder, as she gazed at the baby in her arms. The small smile she had, as his little fingers clenched around hers. Before the image was gone, he scooped up the camera from the top of the go bag from the hospital, and snapped a quick shot, making Emma look up. He smiled at her, moving to stand before her, one hand gently caressing Henry's downy head.

"We did it, Emma." He told her, and he felt tears in his eyes again, as he looked down on his sleeping son.

Emma gently transferred Henry into Neal's arms, and he marveled at how slight he was, so tiny. He didn't even seem possible, his little nose poking out from under the blue hat that constantly drooped into his eyes. He needed to protect this little guy. He would never do what his father did, he was never gonna leave Henry alone. He looked up at Emma, her eyes bright, and he made another silent vow. He would never let darkness destroy his family, not like it did his last.

"You're never going to be alone." Neal promised. "Daddy and mommy are never going to leave you." He smiled up at Emma, still unable to believe that they had created the little life in his arms.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

He never realized, how much he valued sleep. Neal learned how precious a commodity it was, until he lived for weeks, on two hours of sleep a night, because there was a small person, that demanded attention, morning, noon, and night. This particular night, Emma was fast asleep, after waking up just long enough to tell her husband, that it was "Your turn" to take care of the baby. Only two weeks old, and Henry was most certainly _not_ sleeping through the night.

He got out of bed, and padded down the hall, tripping on his work boots, a curse falling past his lips, as he hopped down the hall, and into the small nursery. Henry wailed from his crib. Neal moved through the room, and gently lifted his son from the crib.

Henry kept crying, his little face red, from the strain of his cries. "Shhh, Henry, hush now. Daddy's got you. Daddy's got you." He soothed, and Henry kept wailing. He sighed, bouncing from one foot to the other, as he checked the diaper (dry) tried to feed him (he turned up his nose at the bottle) He even tried singing. He thought for sure, that Henry started crying harder with that one.

Then he started to tell a story, and finally Henry stilled, his brown eyes wide on his father.

"Once upon a time." Neal began, as he sat himself down in the rocking chair in the corner. "There lived a Spinner and his wife. They were very happy, until the Spinner was called away to fight the Ogre's war. While he was away at war, his wife discovered she was with child, and it was likely that her child would never know their father." He rocked with his son, a small, sad smile on his face, as he told the story.

"The Spinner, on the other hand, was honored to go into battle, for the glory of their kingdom. That was, until the Spinner received a prophecy from a seer, that was locked in their camp. The seer told the Spinner, that if he went to that battle, his son would grow without a father. The Spinner wouldn't let that happen. His own father had left him to grow up alone, and he couldn't do that to his son." Henry stared up, showing no sign of going back to sleep, and Neal sighed, as he continued.

"The Spinner did something then, that would define his entire life." He paused. "The Spinner injured himself, so that he wouldn't have to face the battle that would take him from his son. The Spinner was branded a coward, and sent home, with nothing but a stick to lean his weight upon, and the promise of his son when he returned home. Little did he expect his wife's ire, when he returned. She couldn't see the courage that drove his action, she only saw the coward they had branded him. The Spinner loved his son, and his love for his little boy, grew with each day. His wife, however, while she loved her son, grew to despise her husband. She hated him so, that her son began to feel the anger she held towards the Spinner, and feared it was because of him."

He sighed, knowing only what his father had told him, about the next part of the story. "The Spinner's wife, was so dissatisfied with her life, that she dreamed of running away. These dreams, led to her going into taverns, and sat with pirates. One night, one of these pirates, a ruthless captain of a kingless vessel, took the Spinner's wife. When the Spinner went to rescue his wife, the Pirate threatened him, and his son, should he ever come after him, and his treasures again. The Spinner, almost fought the pirate, but in the end, he thought of his son. His poor, innocent, sweet son. He let the pirate take his wife." He looked down at his son, where he slept in his arms.

He could continue the story, but as tragic as it seemed, this was the better ending of the two. "But, despite the Pirate, taking his wife, his love for his son never faltered. He raised his son among the people that ridiculed him, for his cowardice, and did the one thing they never thought he would. He braved the challenge of raising his son, and they lived happily, for a little while. Of course, my lovely little prince, that is a story for another night. Remember, my son, I'll never leave you. I love you more than anything in the world." He whispered, pressing a kiss to the sleeping infant's head.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Months seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, Henry growing bigger each day, by the end of October, (Emma had insisted on dressing Henry like a pumpkin on Halloween) Henry had given them his first smile. By Christmas, he had rolled himself completely over, giggled the most musical giggle you ever heard, and started scooting around the house. By New Years, he had begun his unintelligible babbling, and Neal swore that one night, while Emma was at work, he had heard Henry say, "Dada!"

By Easter he was crawling faster than Neal could walk somedays, and eating everything in sight, despite the fact he only had two teeth. By Mother's Day Henry was trying to pull himself up on things, and Neal got an idea. He went to little Henry, where he played on the floor, and scooped him up. Henry gave him a big grin, and grabbed his nose. Neal laughed, tickling his son's tummy, before he moved to put him back on the floor. He held Henry's hands, and urged him to try and stand, then Neal helped him step forward, and each step was shaky, and some didn't help them move at all, Henry and Neal walked across the room, something he would demonstrate for Emma, when she got home from work, and before he left for his shift at the factory

By the time, Father's Day had come along, Henry was talking with more gibberish, but the words, mama, and dada, had become more prevalent, in his limited vocabulary.

By the end of July, he was taking tentative little steps while he thought nobody was looking, and his words became closer to English. Neal couldn't believe how quickly the little boy was growing, and he would never get over the way his face lit up, when he saw daddy walk through the door. Or get tired of the way he squealed and giggled, when Neal would toss him into the air.

In August, they made a little cake, and filmed Henry as he slowly poked at the frosting covered treat with distrust, until mommy, swept up a finger full of frosting, and popped it into Henry's mouth, then the boy bounced in his highchair, and dug at the cake. He got more cake on the floor, his highchair and himself than he did in his mouth, but neither parent in the room cared, as Henry giggled from behind the frosting, slapping the table, and tossing more frosting into the air.

Neal wouldn't trade these days for anything, the only thing he wished he could do, was forget the bills that came due at the end of each month, even with both him and Emma working full time, the ends didn't want to meet. By the end of September, they were threatening to turn off the lights, and Neal needed to do something. He knew Emma wouldn't approve, but he needed to do it. The bills were too high, and he wouldn't let his son be homeless. Not like he and Emma had been for most of their lives. He wouldn't do that to Henry.

He knew it was risky, knew he could get caught, but he had to help his family, so that night, after he was done with his shift, he broke into a couple of lockers at work, and stole at least ten wallets and emptied them of cash, before tucking them back into the lockers. He walked away with almost five-hundred dollars, and he thought he might even have gotten away with it. That was, until he showed up for work the next night, and found the foreman standing at his locker, with a cop beside him, and Neal knew he hadn't gotten away with anything.

He found himself groveling at the feet of the foreman, to not press any charges, gave back the money he stole, he knew he would be fired. Neal just knew he couldn't go to jail. If him and Emma couldn't make the ends meet, how could she do it alone?

He even went as far as showing him pictures of Henry and Emma, telling him that they couldn't survive if he went to prison.

In the end, he got away with a metaphorical slap on the wrist. He lost his job, but he only got a fine for stealing. He dreaded having to go back to Emma and tell her what had happened. It was likely that they couldn't stay here, because of what He'd done. Because who would hire him now?

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

When he got home, he heard Emma humming in the kitchen, and he slowly hung his keys on the hook, before he walked in. Henry was sitting in his highchair, chomping on a carrot, and he grinned when he saw his daddy. "Da!" he cried happily.

Emma turned and smiled at him, but it faltered a moment later, when she got a good look at his face. "Neal? What's wrong?" She asked, concern clear on her face.

He sighed, hand running through his hair, leaving it sticking up in all the wrong places. "I lost my job." He admitted.

Emma's eyes widened, and she gasped. "What? How? Why?" she pulled him to her, and he felt her worry radiate through him, god he didn't deserve her.

He shook his head, knowing her tune would change pretty quickly once he told her what he'd done. He could lie to her, tell her that it was cutbacks, or that he assembled something wrong, one too many times, but she would see right through him, she always did. He always joked that her superpower wasn't real, but she truly had the uncanny ability to tell when he was lying to her.

"Neal? What happened?" she pried, willing him to open up to her.

He took a deep breath, before he sat down in one of the chairs at the table. "I made a mistake." He admitted.

Emma sat in the chair across from him. "I was worried about money, and… well, I broke into a couple of co-worker's lockers, and I stole almost five-hundred dollars. They had me on camera doing it, and I also have a five-hundred dollar fine, even though I gave it all back." He looked up at Emma.

She wasn't looking at him, her jaw set in an angry line. Neal knew that she would be angry.

"I thought we were done with that." She stated. "You promised we weren't going to steal anymore."

He looked at his hands. "I'm sorry, things got tough, and I didn't know what to do. They were going to turn out the lights."

"We would have figured it out!" Emma said in a hurt tone. "Where are you going to get the money for the fine? I don't have that kind of money! If you're stealing again, clearly you don't have that kind of money!"

"I'm trying!" he snapped, hoping he could just get her to calm down. "I don't know how to go legit, Emma! I've been a con man my entire life! I don't know anything else."

"What about Henry?" She asked, Neal sat back in his chair, noticing that Henry had gone quiet when Emma raised her voice. "What would he do, if you get sent to prison? I can't do this alone! I'm barely nineteen! I bus tables at a diner, and I can't pay the bills, feed our son, and keep him healthy? Did you even think about us at all, when you stole from work? How are we going to survive, because it's not like you'll be able to get another job here!"

Neal sighed, "I don't know. I didn't think about getting caught. I don't know." He looked up. "We might have to leave. I hear Boston is nice."

Emma scoffed. "Boston?" She demanded. "What about our life here?" she got up from her chair. "What about Tallahassee?"

"I'm sorry Emma, Tallahassee… It was great, we got two years, but I screwed up. I promise it's the last time. I'll really straighten up this time. I promise." He said softly, a hand on her knee. "We can start over."

"How many times, will I have to start over? What if I just want to let it all go, and just live my life?"

"This will be the last time." He promised, and Emma was silent for a few moments, before she nodded.

"It will be, I'm not going to restart my life again." She told him, and she got out of her chair, "Supper is in the oven." She told him, as she scooped Henry up out of his chair and walked out of the room.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Once they sold the house, they packed their small bug with everything they would need, and they drove into the sunset, Tallahassee behind them, and forever before them. The possibilities that Boston held, something to hold onto, as Emma watched their son sleep in his booster seat in the back.

"Things will be better." Neal promised.

Emma nodded, "I hope so."

 **please review**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N Hey guys, short A/U this morning, I have just got off of a ten hour shift, and am going into one again right after I post this. hope you guys enjoy**

 **disclaimer: I don't own OUAT or any of its characters**

The transition into their new life, was harder than they anticipated. It was easier when they were just Emma and Neal, but add in Henry, and everything changed. A toddler made travel cross country difficult. They couldn't just sleep in the car, because if anyone got word of that, someone would take their son away. So, while Neal promised not to steal, they had to find a way to pay for motel rooms, even though they had no money.

The trip to Boston took longer than anticipated, Neal picked up odd jobs along the way. This way, he kept Emma and Henry warm and fed. It was the longest on record, that he had gone without breaking a single law, but every time he felt that urge. The urge to take that easy way out, he looked at Emma, curled in their hotel bed, arms protectively around their son, and he felt a resolve build in him.

Yet again, he found himself at the desk at the motel that they were staying in, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair, as the owner came to the desk.

"Can I help you sir?" He asked, brushing the dust from his hands. "You and your family, aren't checking out yet?" He asked, his eyes flicking to the bug, as though thinking he would already has his family packed away. "You paid for the full night. I do not do refunds."

Neal chuckled. "Nah, I was actually going to ask." He fidgeted a little. "We're, well, we're a little short on cash, and I'd be willing to do some odd jobs. I won't ask for handouts. You can pay me, what you think I've earned."

The owner bit his lip. "So you've come to ask for a job? I thought you folks, were on your way to Boston?"

Neal nodded. "We are, but I got just enough, to put a down-payment on an apartment… The kid's gotta eat, and I can't let my wife down again."

After another moment, the owner nodded. "I think I can find some things that need fixing. You are good at fixing things, right?"

Neal beamed. "Sir, I can do whatever you want me to do" he confirmed.

"Another condition. You and your family, you will not stay in that room. I have a spare apartment in the back. You will pay for it, with your work, and when you leave, you will owe nothing to this old man."

Neal nodded. "Whatever you want sir. Thank you. You won't regret this"

The owner smirked. "I better not. Now go, I am sure your wife misses you."

Neal took his leave of the man, going back to the room they were renting, unsurprised, to find Emma awake.

"What's going on? Where were you?" She asked tiredly, from her place, still wrapped around Henry.

Neal smiled. "I was talking to the owner. He gave me a job, Boston will have to wait a little while, but I promise, before the year is through, we'll be home." He promised.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Neal was right, it wasn't long. A month after taking up residence in the little apartment, Neal finally had enough for them to make it the rest of the way to Boston.

Emma had been thinking hard about what she wanted to do with her life. She had briefly considered becoming a social worker, to help kids like them in the system, but in the end decided that no social worker had actually ever helped her. Only sent her to another bad home, and blamed her when it didn't work.

Then she looked into becoming a Private Investigator, but really didn't want to only end up doing work, where she was trying to find a cheating ex. Then just as she lost hope, she was on their computer, the one that Neal had bought for her, as a birthday present, a month after they moved to Tallahassee, she found it.

"Hey, babe." She called. "I think I found a way I can make money, and possibly find something on my parents."

Neal sighed, he knew she never gave up hope, that they were out there. He also knew they were out there. Cursed to not even know what they had to give up. He had hoped however, that after Henry came, and they began to build a family of their own, she would let go of the one she never knew.

"How's that?" He asked, curiously. He wasn't sure what sort of job would give her the access to any information that they might have on the parents that in this realm, didn't exist.

Emma looked up and smiled. "A Bail Bondsperson" She told him. "flexible hours. Meaning, you can literally work whenever. I get to grab no goods, that leave their families, and skip bail. I would also be able to set my own schedule, and I also get access to all kinds of documents that I wouldn't get otherwise."

She seemed so excited, it almost hurt, to think of the fact that she would never find anything on her parents, unless the curse put them into the databases, but he very highly didn't think so, but she seemed so bright eyed, that he just knew that her heart would break when she found nothing.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Soon enough though, they made it to Boston, and everything began to fall into place. Emma discovered the best way to keep Neal in line, was the fact she now worked with the law, and promised to take him in herself. She became the apprentice for a Bail bondswoman. While Neal got a job, helping at a landscaping business. Henry continued growing swiftly. Neal saved up every dollar he could, and took Henry and Emma to Martha's Vineyard, for Henry's second birthday.

The little boy loved splashing in the waves, and he could never get tired of the sight of Emma helping Henry collect shells on the beach. He would always remember this trip, he thinks, as he lays back on the hood of the bug, Emma beside him, Henry dozing peacefully between them, as the sun dips into the waves. The last rays glinting off the water making it glitter beautifully.

"Thank you for this." Emma whispered, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

"For what?" Neal asked softly, in an attempt not to wake the little boy sleeping between them.

Emma was quiet for a moment, and Neal was wondering if she would ever answer, when she sighed.

"All of this?" She responded, her voice barely audible, she turned to face him. "When I was growing up, I was always alone. I thought my entire life that would be the way it would be. Then when I found you, I thought that it wasn't going to last. I thought you would leave me, just like everyone else." She ran a hand through Henry's downy brown hair. "Then when I found out I was pregnant, I thought you would leave again. I have been so afraid of being alone, that I keep feeling surprised, when I wake up and you're still here. I suppose, I'm saying… thank you. Thank you, for not being like everybody else. Thank you for showing me, that not everyone will leave. Thank you, for helping me raise this perfect little boy."

Neal was struck for a moment. Emma could never know. She could never know, how close he came to doing just that. To leaving her, to causing her to be alone with Henry. He thought about what Killian had told him then, she would have given Henry up. She would have thought she couldn't raise him. He held them a little tighter. "You never have to worry about me going anywhere." He promised. It was one promise he intended to keep.

"Good." Emma stated, as she looked back out at the ocean. "Because I would hate to have to hunt you down, and kill you." She told him, mater-of-factly.

Neal smiled, wrapping his arms around the two most important people in the world, and sent a thanks to someone that he might never see again. Because without this second chance, he didn't think he would ever have been able to see the beauty in the world without the beauty laid out beside him, in his little family.

He never thought he would thank the man, who had killed his mother, but without Hook, he wouldn't have any of this. Without Hook, he would have let Emma go.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

When they returned from Martha's Vineyard, Neal was at home alone with Henry, and the little boy was being obstinate.

"Story!" the little boy demanded.

Neal sighed. "I already told you, three stories, Henry."

Henry crossed his arms, and did his best glare at his father. "'Nother story!" he demanded.

Neal shook his head. "I said no! That is final!"

Henry's lip quivered. "Pwease, daddy? Pwease? I wanna hear Spinner story!" he whined, tears rolling down his cherub face.

The older man felt his resolve begin to crumble, as the two-year-old began to cry. "Okay, okay." He caved. Neal knew what Henry wanted. "Come on, Spinner." He said, holding open his arms. He called Henry his Spinner, because he was a broken record. He would only take stories from his father, because he was the one with the 'Spinner' story. He would sit on his bed, shaking his head, when Emma tried to tell him a story, shouting over and over. 'Spinner! Spinner!'

Henry ran into his arms, with a happy little exclamation. Henry carried his son to the bedroom, and sat them in the rocking chair in the corner. This had become a regular setting in the Cassidy home. Henry loved his stories, and since the first night, two years before, they had sat in this chair and he told him about the sad Spinner, who loved his family more than life. "Alright, Spinner. I'll tell you a story. I told you the one about the Spinner and his wife last night. How about I tell you…" he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I'll tell you, the story of the Spinner and his son."

Henry clapped his chubby little hands together. "Yay!"

Neal shook his head. "I'll only tell you, if you promise to try and fall asleep."

Henry nodded. "I promise, daddy."

The older man smiled, ruffling his son's hair, as he pulled a blanket up, and tucked it around the two-year-old. "Once upon a time" He began, as he always did, Henry was rapt with attention. The irony wasn't lost on Neal, that Henry's favorite stories, were his family history. "There was a crippled Spinner, and his son. They lived very happily. Well, as happily as you could, as outcasts from the people. They lived a happy life on the outskirts. That is, until the Spinner's son, came to the age that he would have to go and help fight in the Ogre's war, as his father had before him."

Henry yawned, a wide o. "The Spinner couldn't let his son go to that war. Nobody ever returned from the Ogre's war, save those that never made it to the front." Neal continued. "The Spinner would do anything to protect his son, the way he never could for his wife. He had heard tales of a great sorcerer, one that could put an end to the war. The only problem was, that a treacherous king held the one thing that held power over the sorcerer. The Spinner made plans to try and take control of the sorcerer, but first he had to find out where the item that held power over the sorcerer."

Henry had popped his thumb in his mouth, as Neal spoke, and already seemed to be drifting off to sleep. "The Spinner searched for the secret of the Dark One, determined to rescue his son from the grasps of the Ogre's war. When he finally found the weapon, a dagger that bore the true name of the sorcerer, and could control him. The Spinner snuck his way into the palace, and stole the dagger, setting the palace aflame." Neal paused, and Henry looked up at him, proving his theory wrong, when he believed the boy had fallen asleep. "The Spinner stole into the woods with his prize. Once he was far enough away from the palace, he used the dagger, and called the Dark One to him. There was one thing he didn't expect from the feared sorcerer, and that was the fact the man seemed despaired. He had been the Dark One for so long, that he sought freedom. He offered the Spinner a deal. Rather than stop the Ogre's war for him, he offered to teach the Spinner how to end the war himself. How to become the hero, his wife always wished he would be."

"The Spinner wanted to know how this could be possible, and the Dark One told him the one thing, that would change his life forever. He told the Spinner 'If you take my power, you will be able to fight this war for your son.' The Spinner would do anything for his son, so he took the deal the Dark One offered, and he took the darkness from the man, and became a grand sorcerer." Henry had dozed in his arms, but he continued to rock. "Only as the Spinner would learn. All magic comes with a price. Some prices are bigger than others, as the Spinner would soon learn."

Neal stopped rocking, when he felt gentle hands on his shoulders. He smiled up at his wife.

"Hey there. What sort of adventures did the Spinner have tonight?" Emma asked, as she gently lifted the sleeping toddler out of his arms, and expertly deposited him into his crib, tucking his blankets around him.

Neal smiled. "He went on the scariest adventure of all. He stopped a war." He explained.

Emma shook her head. "You should write those stories down. You could get rich." She told him. "Children's books are big sellers."

Neal chuckled. "I only care about one kid's bedtime story." He told her, withholding the fact, that even if he wanted to, he would never put his childhood out there for everyone to know. It was Henry's history. He was the only one that had to hear it.

 **please review**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N hey guys, so as a CS shipper (for those of you who haven't looked at the rest of my works in the OUAT verse) An avid one, this is turning out to be a bitch to write. So while I plan on seeing this through, I might end up taking a break on this story. So please bear with me, because I am starting to catch myself on this story. I hopefully will make the next couple of updates, I will keep you posted. The Whovian is sorry in advance if she has to step back from this for a bitty bit**

 **disclaimer: I do not own OUAT or any of the characters**

 **Chapter 4**

Neal and Emma had been married for three years. Three years, of ups and downs. They celebrated their anniversary by going dancing, leaving Henry with a young girl, that lived next door, that Emma and he had grown fond of. Emma was dressed in a soft red dress, that fell in waves around her. She had her hair half up, and half loose around her face.

"I love you." He whispered, as he twirled her on the floor.

Emma beamed at him. "I love you" she responded, as she spun away from him.

He pulled her back. "How did I ever get so lucky?" He asked softly.

Emma snorted. "I would hardly say you're the lucky one, buster. I'm no prize."

Neal leaned in and kissed her. "That's just because you're getting the wrong perspective. Where I'm standing? I won the gold metal." He told her gently. "and it gave me the best family, an orphan could ask for." He dipped her low, and Emma's eyes were damp.

"And from my perspective, I finally found my knight in shining armor, complete with yellow bug, and noisy two-year-old." She told him.

Neal swept her back up, and the continued to dance, late into the night, until Emma decided that they should return home to their son. Their son, who was more likely than not, convincing his babysitter to give him sugar, and let him stay up past his bedtime.

When they got home, it became clear, that their assumption was right, when they walked in and found Henry running around the living room, singing Hakuna Matata at the top of his tiny lungs.

"What's going on here?" Emma asked Megan, who was sitting on the couch, holding her nose, clearly Henry had been doing this for some time.

She looked up. "He wanted ice cream, and then he just started running, and then the singing."

Neal chuckled. "What ice cream did you give him?" He asked, though from the way the kid was running he could wager a guess.

Megan sighed. "There was only Coffee in the freezer, he told me you guys let him have it."

"and you believed him?" Emma asked trying to hold back her own laughter, as their son had yet to realize they were there, and was still passionately singing the song from The Lion King.

Megan shook her head. "I mean, I thought I heard they didn't use real coffee somewhere, and that there wasn't any caffeine in it." she admitted. "I realized my mistake, about when he began running."

The little boy seemed to realize then, that they were home. "Mommy! Daddy!" Henry cried, when he finally noticed them. "You're home!" He ran forward, throwing his arms around their legs.

Emma laughed, scooping the squirming almost three-year-old up from the floor. "Hey kid, are you getting into trouble."

Henry gave her an innocent look, then shook his head. "We had ice cream!"

Neal laughed, and shook his head. "We know kid. We know."

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Time passed quickly, before he knew it, their little man was turning three, and he realized this was all he wanted in his life. His wife by his side, their son, running with some of the kids from his daycare. He had started his job as a window salesman the other week, and realized that they couldn't make it work without some form of childcare. It had been a hard task, trying to get any form of job at all. It turned out his past had truly caught up with him. They were all leery of hiring someone caught with their hand in the cookie jar as many times as he had been. He fought to get this job, because he hated relying on Emma to provide for the family. Emma always smiled at him, when he brought it up and simply told him. "It's just part of what I signed up for, with till death do we part."

Emma on the other hand, was swiftly growing in her career. Putting away more people in a month than the Boston PD did, though he would never tell them that.

Neal would never say he was jealous of Emma's success, but he did regret the fact that he couldn't do more to help her. Couldn't provide for his family, the way that he was supposed to. The way that he vowed, when he married Emma.

Soon after, they moved into their upper Boston apartment. Once there, Neal was offered a building maintenance position. He had thought long and hard on it, then decided, that since it paid better than the job he had as a salesman, he would take it. Plus, since it was with the building manager of their building, they got a few perks when it came to their own apartment.

The only downfall, was the hours. Meaning there were no strict hours. Sometimes he could go a week without working, and other times, he was pulled out of bed at two in the morning to fix a leaky faucet. He kept up with his work, and still made time for his son.

One of those times, was bedtime. He always tucked Henry into bed at night, even if he had a call, he would put it off, until he told Henry his story.

He pulled the covers over the toddler, tucking them under his chin. "Okay, Spinner. What kind of story should I tell tonight? A story of a lost princess? A story about a brave prince?"

Henry grinned up at his father, "Spinner!" he declared in his clear childish voice.

Neal smiled. "Alright, alright, I think I got a Spinner story, for my little Spinner." He told his son. "Once upon a time, there was a man, or he used to be a man, that had left his spinner lifestyle long behind him. He had become a king in his hovel. A coward turned hero: the hero of the Ogre's war. If only a hero, was all the spinner had become. The Spinner had become a monster. The Dark One was never a hero. He was the wolf in sheep's clothing. He was an imp, and he wielded the most dangerous power, known to man.

"The Spinner's son, was the only one who saw this. The rest of the village was enthralled. They were under the spell of the Dark One. His son however, was too close to him, to turn a blind eye, to the darkness. He saw it building inside of his father. Over the short amount of time, that the Spinner had become the Dark One, he grew cold, and cruel. He would rather punish, than protect. This was proven, when the Spinner's son was hurt while playing in the square. The man had apologized quickly for his blunder, in causing the boy to fall, but the Spinner wouldn't hear it. Corrupted by power, the Spinner used his newfound dark powers, to transform the man into a snail. A form, that proved easily vanquished. Despite, his son's pleading, the Spinner was merciless, and he ended the man, that he thought had harmed his child."

Henry ducked his chin under the blankets, brown eyes peering at him with sparks of fear, at the Spinner. "Daddy, was the Spinner a bad-guy?"

Neal shook his head, and sighed, thinking of his father, before the darkness. "Not always, not always, Spinner. He used to be a very good man, but as you will learn, evil isn't born. It's made. The most heroic soul, could become a bad-guy."

Henry's eyes stayed big. "Could I be a bad-guy?"

Neal shook his head. "I don't think you will be, Spinner. Any more, than I think Mommy, could be a bad-guy."

Henry satisfied nodded, and settled back into his blankets.

"Alright, kiddo, time to get back to the story." He told his son, as he settled back into the story. "Feeling fear of his father, the Spinner's son, grew desperate, he despaired his father's magic, refused to allow it to touch his skin. Refused to allow his father to help the way his father sought to help. He decided to do something about it, so the Spinner's son, made a deal with the Dark One. He made a deal with his father, that if he found a way, the Spinner would give up the dark magic he relied on, if only his son could find a way.

"And find a way, he did. He heard whispers about an ancient power, that could help him in his quest. A power called, Reul Ghorm. The Spinner's son, went to the woods at midnight, and he called to the Reul Ghorm, and pleaded that she help him. Reul Ghorm, was a kind little, fairy, and she promised to help him. Only not in the way he thought. She couldn't make the Spinner the man he once was, but she could send them to a place, where the Spinner had no choice, but to be a man without power. A place, where they had a chance to be a family, a place where the Spinner could be a better man.

"She gave the boy a magic bean, that could take them away from this place. So excited with his discovery, was the boy, that he ran home and told his father. The Spinner, however, wasn't excited at the idea, and fought his son, before he finally gave in, and told his son he would go with him. The boy overjoyed at the thought of getting his father back, the boy readily led his father outside, and threw the bean to the ground, opening a swirling portal." Here again, was another point. He could stop here, tell Henry that the Spinner went with his son, and they lived happily ever after, or he could tell the story how it truly went. After a final moment of indecision, he decided to tell it the way it was.

"Once the portal opened, the Spinner grew fearful, trying to pull his son away from the portal, but his son was determined, the boy pulling him towards an uncertain future. The spinner fought, and his son slipped, falling towards the portal, being pulled by the wild winds, towards the portal. Still the boy urged his father on, and as he let go, and slipped into the portal beyond, he left his father with the same parting words as his mother had before him. He declared his father a coward, before it became clear, he would never see his father again."

Henry blinked at his father. "Is there a happy ending, for the Spinner, Daddy?"

Neal smiled a sad smile, and shook his head. "Not one, that I've seen, Spinner. Not one, that I've seen."

Henry yawned. "Does he ever see his son again?"

Neal bit his lip thoughtfully. "Not yet, but that doesn't mean he won't someday." He told his son. "Now, it's time for little boys to go to sleep." He said, pressing a kiss to Henry's head. "sleep tight, Spinner."

"Sleep tight, daddy."

Neal got up and moved to the door, looking back at his son one last time, before he flicked off the light. Leaving a history wrapped in a bedtime story behind him.

 **Please review (they feed the hungry Whovian)**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N Alrighty folks, so a short one this week, and also a small time jump, one that will lead into a couple of other small time jumps, till we reach the beginning of S1 which is when things will start to get a little quicker, or so I hope. Now, to clear up some confusion, that was brought to my attention by a reader last chapter. This story's base idea, will not be changing, because I plan on taking a step back. It just means the story might lie dormant for a short time (I hope a month tops) Which once I get into the structure of the seasons, I might not even need to take time off at all. On that, only time will tell, I have at least three chapters already written, as well as one farther in the story. So bear with me**

 **disclaimer: I don't own OUAT or any of the characters**

It turned out, as the years passed, that Boston was where they were meant to get going. By the time Henry was five, they were living in an upper Boston apartment, and Neal finally had a good job. He worked as a handyman for their building. Emma continued to work in bail bonds, quickly becoming one of the most successful bail bondswomen in Boston, specializing in parents that walked out on their parents. The subject striking her hard, because of her own experience with parents, or lack of them.

Henry's first day of school hit seemingly without warning. Emma took him shopping, and bought all of the tiny notebooks, and pencils, she bought him new shoes, and several new outfits, her favorite a Peter Pan T-shirt, with the Jolly Roger on it, and Henry's favorite a Captain America shirt.

Then came the day. Neal and Emma were both there to see him off, shoes on wrong, and eyes wide, when he realized they weren't coming in with him.

Neal kneeled in front of the small boy, "Hey kiddo, don't worry, me and mommy will be here to get you after school."

"Why can't we go home now?" He asked, voice going up in pitch slightly, as he looked at all of the other children, darting past him, as they met with friends. "I don't know anybody. What if they don't like me?"

It was Emma's turn. She crouched by him, and pulled him into her leather clad arms, and pulled back to look him in the eye. "Henry James Swan-Cassidy." She began, using her soothing mother voice. "Now you listen to me." When the boy nodded, she continued. "You are going to go through those doors, and you are going to do what a Swan-Cassidy always does." She told him firmly. "You are going to keep your eyes up, that upper lip stiff, and you are going to walk in like, you belong there. You know why?"

Henry shook his head.

"Because you do belong. Henry, you know mommy didn't have a lot of friends when she was little, but you know what she did have?" another head shake. "Confidence. You go in there, and if they don't respect you, make them. Because if you believe hard enough, that you belong? You're gonna find out, that you really do."

Henry nodded.

"Now, what are you gonna do?"

He took a deep breath, and tried to look bigger, failing, because his shoulders weren't that big, and his cheeks turned an adorable pink with the effort. "I'm gonna go in there, and be a big boy." He promised. "Because A Swan-Cassidy is strong, and They belong wherever they wanna." He told her.

Emma nodded, and pulled him in for another crushing hug. "That's right, and I'll be here waiting for you, before the last bell rings."

Henry looked up at her, with wide vulnerable eyes. "Promise?"

Emma nodded. "promise." She promised, holding her pinky out to swear on it with her son, then the first bell rang, and Henry turned to look at the building.

"I'll see you as soon as school is over?" he asked.

Emma nodded. "Just as soon as that last bell rings." She promised.

Henry nodded once, then twice, and turned and ran into the building. Emma held back a sob, as her little boy went through the doors, of the school, shooting them one more look, before the doors closed between them.

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

The hours between, when Henry walked into the school, and when he walked, were the longest hours since the hours spent in the delivery room, when he was born. Neal found himself pacing outside of the car.

"Neal, get back in the car, school doesn't even let out, for ten minutes." Emma sighed. "You're going to wig me out, pretty soon. Just get in the car, he'll be out, when the bell rings"

Neal set his jaw, and nodded, climbing back into the car, his fingers drumming on the dashboard. "Are you sure it's okay? I mean, would it really be so bad to go and check with the office?"

A warm hand settled on his thigh. "He's fine Neal. We promised ourselves, when we agreed to send him to school, we wouldn't be those parents. We're not going into the office, we're not going to be helicopter parents." She said soothingly. "Now, just relax, and wait, for your son to come out of the school"

Neal took a deep breath and nodded. "I know, it's just, I've never done anything like this before. I just worry I'm going to make some sort of mistake"

Emma huffed. "And I have? We have the same fears, pal. The only difference is, that I know that even if we do make a mistake, it's part of being a parent. Every parent makes mistakes. Those that don't? Are lying"

As though on cue, the bell rang, and a minute later, a torrent of children came flooding out of the school. She scanned the crowd, and together, Emma and Neal climbed out of the car. They waited, side by side, as the children rushed past them. All but the one they were looking for.

Neal started to get tense, but then Henry came out the door of the school, with his teacher beside him, talking animatedly. The woman smiled sweetly, and urged the boy forward, when he saw his parents he darted forward.

Neal and Emma met him with open arms, Neal spinning his son around in a circle, feeling like it had been days, rather than hours, since he had seen the boy.

"Hey, Spinner, how was school?" He asked letting his son down on the ground gently.

Henry grinned. "It was great!" He turned to his mother, and tackled her. "You were right mom. I did exactly what you said, I walked in, I helded my head high, and I pretended to belong, and I did!"

Emma beamed at the little boy, pulling him into her arms, and Neal saw tears in her eyes. "I knew you would, kid, I knew you would"

 _~~If I Never Leave~~_

Later that night, after Henry was tucked in, and told his story, Emma and Neal were laid back in bed, just relaxing, before they went to sleep for the night.

"He's growing up so quickly." Emma mused. "Was it just yesterday, that he was just learning to walk, while we held his hands?"

Neal smiled, pulling her back to him, Emma rested her head against his chest. "Was that yesterday? I thought yesterday, was when we brought him home." He joked.

Emma sighed, a wistful sound. "I always knew he would grow up, I just didn't expect it to feel like I blinked and missed it all, even though I remember every moment with perfect clarity." She brought her hand to cover his heart. "I just wish we could freeze him like this, so I wouldn't miss a moment"

Neal ran his fingers through her hair, thoughtfully. "Yeah, but think of all the moments we would miss, by never giving them a chance to happen. Think about what might happen five years, ten years down the road. Think of his first boy scouts camping trip, think of his first school dance, of the first date, the first heartbreak. We could freeze our perfect little boy, but think of all we would miss if we could."

Emma sighed again, a sleepy sound. "I know, but it is a nice thought… just to have our little boy forever."

 **please review (it feeds the hungry whovian)**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N Holy late update batman... sorry about the wait, but here is chapter 6**

When Henry was turning six, Emma surprised him, bringing home plane tickets to Chicago, telling him that she was paying for them to go to Navy Pier for Henry's birthday.

When they got there, Emma told him, she wanted to do everything. That after their day at the pier, they would go to some museums and the aquarium. The day of the pier they spent hours riding the Ferris Wheel, and the teacups, with a giggling Henry. On the boardwalk, he won him a giant plush dragon, that Henry lovingly dubbed, Reggie, and was passed out in the back of the rental, before they got to the hotel.

The museums, didn't disappoint, as Henry ran along in front of them, choppily reading the signs, and asking questions, eyes wide. Emma holding him up to look at the dinosaur bones at the natural history museums, and Henry announcing with a straight face, and a childish level of seriousness, the he was going to. "Be the first person to go back and find a dinosaur, and ask it what it was like to be a dinosaur."

Emma bit back a grin, as she asked her son how he was going to go back.

"With my time machine!" Henry declared, giving her a toothy grin.

Neal feigned a shocked expression. "You have a time machine?"

Henry frowned, and looked at his dad. "Not yet, daddy. I'm gonna build one, and then we can all go back!"

Neal smiled, and ruffled the boy's hair. "Well then, let's make a pact."

Henry looked confused. "What?"

"If we do travel in time, we won't change a thing." He told his son.

Henry nodded. "Just to get an A on my history test." He told his parent's seriously.

"Now Henry" Neal began, even with knowing that Henry couldn't travel in time, his own experience with time travel fresh in his mind, despite the fact it was almost seven years ago. "Time travel is very serious" he told his son. "If you're going to go for a good grade, aim at least for an A plus."

Emma couldn't hold it in, as she belted out a loud laugh, making Henry giggle too, and several other museum goers to stop and look at them in annoyance.

Six years went fast, but it seemed in the blink, seven and eight were gone just as fast, when Henry came out of school, eyes puffy, nose red. The way the little boy's shoulders slumped, rang warning bells in Neal's mind. "Henry?" Neal asked getting out of the bug. "Hey, what's wrong kid?" He asked.

Henry shrugged, and moved past his father, to get into the car. Neal could have gotten in the front and taken them home then, but instead he slid into the backseat with his son. "You gonna tell me, what's wrong?" he asked. "Or are we going to become car people, until mom comes and finds us." He told the eight-year-old seriously. "You know mom wouldn't be happy to have a car child. She likes her family outside of this bug. Spill."

Henry sniffed, pulling a ruined notebook out of his bag. "We're supposed to make family trees in my class, and…" he looked up. "Am I weird, because I only got a mom and a dad, and not a grandma, or grandpa?"

Neal's heart broke, he should have seen this coming, he thought that all Henry would ever need was him and Emma, but he didn't think his school would make them do that. "No." He told his son. "You know why?"

Henry shook his head. "Why?"

Neal wrapped his arm around the boy. "I'm gonna tell you a story, and then we're going to go get some ice-cream."

Henry perked, and nodded.

Neal took a deep breath. "There's a reason you don't have any grandparents. Me and your mom? We didn't want to tell you, because we didn't have very happy childhoods." He admitted. "Your mom? She never knew her parents." He explained. "They left her on the side of a road, when she was born, with nothing but a baby blanket." Henry's eyes widened.

Neal continued. "Then, she was bumped around the foster system until she was seventeen. She'll have to tell you more about it, if she wants too, but I can't share that for her. What I can do, is tell you, that I remember your grandparents from my side." He told Henry softly.

"Are they out there somewhere?"

Neal thought for a moment. "My father might be, but you don't want to know him." He explained. "When I was born, my father was a soldier, and he abandoned his post, and became a deserter, because he wanted to know me, but it was a good life. Good until I was a little older than you. My mom was killed in a terrible accident." He said, looking down at her hands. "My dad? He was never the same after that, he was afraid of the world. Then, one day, he changed. He got power, and when he got that power, he used it to hurt people. He told me it was just to protect me, but he never stopped, he seemed to like hurting people, so… I ran away. I was thirteen when I left, and my father had the chance for us to be a family, but he chose his power over me. So, I never looked back. That doesn't make you weird. It makes our family unique. We've never needed more than us. Me, you, and your mom. Isn't that right?"

Henry nodded, thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess so." He mused. "I never thought there was anything wrong with us. The kids in my class, told me it was weird."

Neal frowned, what do those kids know? "Well, maybe our normal, just isn't the same as theirs. So what might be normal for them, is strange for us, and vice versa."

Henry nodded again, sniffling, before he launched himself into his father's waiting arms.

 **please review (they feed the hungry whovian)**


End file.
